In-Line Skating Rink - Ancient History

so loud!

noreply@blogger.com (Fake Plastic Fish) — Thu, 15 Aug 2002 09:27:00 +0000

Please don't think I spent the whole year since February in a funk. In fact, many things have happened: too many to write about in detail. Here is a nifty little video to catch you up from my last entry through August, 2002. Warning: the pictures fly by MTV-fast. Click here to check out still photos of our East Coast trip.

litterbox...

noreply@blogger.com (Fake Plastic Fish) — Sat, 09 Feb 2002 10:23:00 +0000

Lest this web journal give you the mistaken impression that everything is okay: there’s something very wrong happening. I wish I could show you in a drawing or a video, but I can't slow down long enough to put the pieces together, and that is part of the problem. Plus, the pictures are rough, like sticks or scuffs of ash or coal, and big: not the small, precise movements of computer art or animation. I would write it in the Creepy Girl font I downloaded last month, but you'd never be able to read it. The air is cold. I've been sweating cold all day and uncomfortable in my jeans. Two nights ago I thought I was having a heart attack, and it was only the presence of Donna's cat, Kyle, in my bed, that kept me from calling 911. I shouldn't be telling you this. I wore my sunglasses all day even after the sun started to go down and stared at people on the bus, like the tall woman whose black hair had just enough purple for self-assurance. I shredded a Kleenex, secretly, under the backpack on my lap and bit the inside of my mouth. I'm tired but can't imagine ever going to sleep again. Or wanting to. Or wanting to do anything besides sleep. The only thing that keeps me alive is the idea that one day I will find I have something to say. In the meantime, I write from outside a white concrete wall and make happy pictures of a life that I'm never sure is really mine. Just when I think I'm starting to be like other people, I have weeks like this one and wonder if normalcy is even within my realm of imagination.

a little thing that matters...

noreply@blogger.com (Fake Plastic Fish) — Mon, 04 Feb 2002 10:18:00 +0000

Driving Donna's car is almost as much fun as chocolate cake.

eggxactly right...

noreply@blogger.com (Fake Plastic Fish) — Thu, 31 Jan 2002 10:14:00 +0000

IN SEARCH OF:

I will make 20 deviled eggs for the person who can find me this item. Rubbermaid does not sell its products wholesale. They suggest the following stores: Target, K-Mart, Home Depot, Lowes, WalMart, and Blossom True Value in Mountain View. I called several of these places a month ago to no avail.

NOTE: The important characteristics of this container are that it has a lid, can be used both for storage and serving, is flat (as opposed to the Tupperware version, which is 2-tiered and therefore cumbersome) and holds a decent number of eggs (20). I would consider a different container, as long as it has all of the above. And, of course, I'll pay you back!

Finally, HAPPY BIRTHDAY, CHRISTINE, wherever you are!

dude, where's my usb hub?

noreply@blogger.com (Fake Plastic Fish) — Tue, 22 Jan 2002 10:13:00 +0000

In the category of, ONLY IN CALIFORNIA. Oh, the heartache that could have been prevented if my eXes had been as considerate as this computer "eXpert" and "taken off" to "give me space."

she's so handy...

noreply@blogger.com (Fake Plastic Fish) — Fri, 18 Jan 2002 10:10:00 +0000

Yet another Birthday Dinner! Ruby made beef stew and tapioca pudding! Mmmmmm. By the way, Ruby is the BEST massage therapist I have ever met. Be sure to e-mail her if you are interested. And stay tuned for the spiffy flash website I'm creating for her. (Sorry guys: she only works on women at this point.)

martin and mommy...

noreply@blogger.com (Fake Plastic Fish) — Tue, 15 Jan 2002 10:02:00 +0000

MORE BIRTHDAYS!

It's obvious who the second guy is. Can you guess the first person? No, it's not me with my glasses off this time. It's Betty Davis Terry, my spectacular mother. Would you believe this photo was taken just last week? I hope I look as good when I hit 72.

i want to ride my bicycle!

noreply@blogger.com (Fake Plastic Fish) — Mon, 14 Jan 2002 10:01:00 +0000

Bicycle Ride! Click Here.

mark his words...

noreply@blogger.com (Fake Plastic Fish) — Fri, 11 Jan 2002 09:58:00 +0000

Went to dinner with Mark for our birthdays. His was in December. Isn't it nice to spread it out over a couple of months? Had a scrumptious meal at Nirvana Noodle House in the Castro, saw his gorgeous "new" apartment (since his roommate moved out), including gold painted walls and new dining room furniture. As Mark likes to say, "It takes a gay man to make something pretty."

there's hope for me after all...

noreply@blogger.com (Fake Plastic Fish) — Thu, 10 Jan 2002 09:57:00 +0000

Kim Cattrall of HBO's Sex and the City is 45. So there.

party party...

noreply@blogger.com (Fake Plastic Fish) — Tue, 08 Jan 2002 09:46:00 +0000

Aunt Ann's held a birthday lunch for me. I don't know where they got the idea I was having a birthday. Don't they know I just don't age? In fact, I wasn't really born, but was imagined by a tattoo artist in some dank shop in Amsterdam a few years ago and just keep being reproduced onto the biceps of lonely sailors. As long as they keep asking for me, I'll never grow old, and I'll never die. Anyway, I went along with the party idea just to keep everyone happy, and requested pizza and chocolate cake. Yum! Michael came with me and met all the people I work with. He took the following stellar photos:

After work, I met Michael, his friend, Jeremy, and his former boss, David, for 80s Trivia Night at The Mad Dog In The Fog. We did not win. But we did not drink, either. Nevertheless, much fun and rockin' good times were had. Plus I got to drive Donna's car again.

ay carumba!

noreply@blogger.com (Fake Plastic Fish) — Mon, 07 Jan 2002 09:39:00 +0000

Michael took me to The Winchester Mystery House for my birthday. Lots of cool pictures coming soon.

Afterwards, we had lunch at Chevy's, where I was accosted by a band of crazed waiters, who threw a sombrero on my head, tossed a dessert in front of me, and yelled something that was probably, "Happy Birthday," but sounded more like, "Run away now! While you still can!"

The best part of the day was that I got to drive Donna's car! The worst part was turning 37. Something about that is just wrong, I think.

resolved...

noreply@blogger.com (Fake Plastic Fish) — Wed, 02 Jan 2002 07:38:00 +0000

2000 was possibly the worst year of my life:

After months of agonizing over the Y2K bug and the end of the world, I got so drunk on New Years Eve that I ended up with photos I have no memory of having taken.

A few weeks later I landed in the hospital with severe pneumonia and nearly uncontrollable fevers that had me hallucinating television commercials every time I closed my eyes.

During this illness, my friend, Mark, was hospitalized after a serious attack of apendicitis. Needless to say, I couldn't visit him.

This illness introduced me to Hycodan cough syrup, which is way stronger than codeine and much more addictive. When that ran out I found myself grasping for anything else that would get me high -- inventing reasons to request Xanax or Restoril or even over-the-counter sleep medicine, which I usually chased with a comforting glass of Kahlua and milk. 2000 was a year of addictions.

In March, I had laparoscopic surgery to remove endometriosis. Instead, the doctor discovered fibroids, which would have to be removed by more surgery later in the year. (By the way, Vicodin was prescribed for the pain!)

In the summer, I had the myomectomy to remove the fibroids. I was out of work on disability (and more Vicodin) for 6 weeks.

During that 6 weeks, instead of resting, I used the time off to break up with Ruby and find another place to live. Also during that time, I got together with Michael -- the best thing that could have happened all year. Unfortunately, I was too whacked out at that time to enjoy it.

The end result of all the tumult (as well as substance abuse) was a trip to the loony bin and another 10 weeks on disability, during which I wasn't sure I would ever feel good again.

2001 WAS DIFFERENT!!!!!

The strongest thing I had to drink on 12/31/2000 was a mug of hot cocoa! I vowed not to drink any alcohol all year, and managed to stick to it, despite some nasty cravings at times.

My doctors finally found me the right combination of drugs to function and get off of disability. I went back to work on January 2 and have managed to get to work ever since.

I started the year almost $18,000 in credit card debt. I ended the year under $6,000 in the red and set up automatic payments to my IRA.

And speaking of money, it's been raining down on me in little bits all year, from unexpected payments from Toshiba to gifts that I wasn't expecting. I've been able to purchase a couple of things, like Flash and a digital camera to keep me learning and working on this website and OUT OF TROUBLE!

Aside from a few minor illnesses and the one time I fell on my head, I've been pretty healthy this year. And with the bicycle that Michael built for me, I hope to get even healthier.

Michael and I had a great time this year, dressing up in 80s garb or pajamas to go dancing, seeing movies and videos and concerts, encouraging each other's projects and creative obsessions (Yeah, Stoler, you ARE creative!), playing with cats and stuffed toys, taking walks all over town, eating chocolate and ice cream (and chocolate ice cream), and... and... more fun and nerdy things than I can think of right now.

But possibly the biggest GOOD thing (September 11 being the biggest BAD thing that happened all year) to happen this year -- I SAW MADONNA! A year with a Madonna concert has GOT to be good.

SO... you've probably guessed by now... all this is leading up to:

RESOLUTIONS FOR 2002:

Since last year was so good, I don't really want all that much to change, so this list will be brief.

1) Pay off my remaining debt completely. In order to do that, I have a few sub-resolutions:

Half.com

Books for sale on Half.com

Music for sale on Half.com

Email me

2) Continuing the health trend, I want to get in better shape this year. Most of the sub-resolutions for this category were already mentioned in the money category: Riding my bike and walking instead of taking a cab (at least 3 times per week) and eating out less. The only other subs are:

3) The one thing didn't do too well this year was keep up with my friends. So in 2002, I resolve to check in more often, remember birthdays, and just basically spend more time with those who are important to me.

There, I think those are enough resolutions, don't you? Time for bed. Good night.

thanks, victoria's secret!

noreply@blogger.com (Fake Plastic Fish) — Tue, 01 Jan 2002 07:34:00 +0000

HAVE A GROOVY NEW YEAR, BABY!

huh?

noreply@blogger.com (Fake Plastic Fish) — Wed, 26 Dec 2001 07:34:00 +0000

Michael stayed home to work on his website and I slept...all...day.... Is there a better way to spend Christmas?

o holy night

noreply@blogger.com (Fake Plastic Fish) — Tue, 25 Dec 2001 07:32:00 +0000

Donna (an amazing landscape painter), Donna's friend, Diane (an amazing photographer and scuba diver), Michael (just plain amazing) and I made a Christmas Eve dinner of , macaroni & cheese, sauteed carrots & zucchini, and pecan pie a la mode. Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm! The ham aroma drove the cats crazy. Sometimes it's good to be human.

Speaking of furry creatures, Michael gave me a fuzzy black sweater (pictured), so I can more closely resemble his bear perhaps. (Should I also stop shaving?)

I gave him heaps of brand new unholey (but certainly not unholy) socks and made him promise to replace a pair of holey old socks with each new pair. Not one to waste anything, he of course bawked and squawked. I'm prepared to lose this one.

something big on her mind...

noreply@blogger.com (Fake Plastic Fish) — Fri, 14 Dec 2001 07:21:00 +0000

AUNT ANN'S CHRISTMAS PARTY

First, dinner at the Cobalt Tavern. Mmmmm...	Then, Beach Blanket Babylon at Club Fugazzi. Big hats, campy songs & parody. Check out the website.

i see the light...

noreply@blogger.com (Fake Plastic Fish) — Wed, 12 Dec 2001 07:19:00 +0000

Let's play a game! It's called, "Guess What's Different About Beth." Nope. Not the hair color again. Same pale as death (Excuse me, we prefer the term, "fair") skin. No new tattoos or other body modifications. Could it be that... well, I'll be... Beth has eyes! Who knew?

That's right. I have eyes. I have peripheral vision. I can see to shave my legs in the shower. I see in the rain. I can see on a train. I can see here or there. I can see everywhere! I can see in a sauna. I can go to
Osento, the women's bathhouse, and see who's in the hottub! No one will ever think I'm rude for not recognizing them again!

I CAN WEAR ANY SUNGLASSES I WANT!!!

i'm a winner!

noreply@blogger.com (Fake Plastic Fish) — Sat, 01 Dec 2001 06:59:00 +0000

Michael finished putting together my bicycle! I have ridden to work, to the eye doctor (I'm getting contacts), to and from Ruby's house, and man am I sore in places you don't really want to know about. (Just think about the shape of a bicycle seat, and you'll know what I mean.) Anyway, my plan is to use it to commute to work when it's not raining, and not to have any accidents. Michael and I did a test run this weekend. I had to stop and walk uphill a couple of times, and once I got dizzy and had to sit. Have to remember to drink water and breathe!

Michael and Donna and I had Thanksgiving dinner at The Beach Chalet.

The food was good, but no leftovers for sandwiches or even late night snacking. Later we watched Shrek on video. As good as Monsters, Inc. only different. Bought a Mrs. Smith's pumpkin pie and made whipped cream to go with it. But it wasn't MomMom's. Well, really, what's Thanksgiving without MomMom's rolls? (You know, whenever my parents do something mean, like move to Utah without bothering to tell me, I think to myself, "MomMom would never have done that. She loved me." I don't know if it makes me feel better or worse. Be sure and check out my MomMom book in the Attic if you haven't already.)

Also, I've finished a new video (Go back to Foyer and click on Screening Room or click here) for your viewing pleasure, and totally missed out on the news that my parents just moved to Utah for 18 months! They took David and Dad's new computer, so it's serious. Let's see... has anything else happened besides this bloody video which has kept me up all night?

Oh, yeah! Another miracle from Toshiba! The second part of the Class Action settlement was a Toshiba freecard (like a debit card) worth $225 in Toshiba products. A brand new digital camera is now mine. But really it's yours. I do all this web stuff for you, you know. Yeah, I'm talking to you.

Good Night!

our new addition...

noreply@blogger.com (Fake Plastic Fish) — Wed, 31 Oct 2001 07:10:00 +0000

Stayed up all night Thursday and Friday nights working on The Attic, (which you should go see next!) managed to stay awake for 3 movies Saturday night: The Endurance, Donnie Darko, and The Short Attention Span Film Festival (in which all the films were roughly two minutes long), and finally gave birth to a 15-lb watermelon baby. Too bad the briss went awry and we had to eat him. Next time we'll have to find a rabbi who doesn't drink so much. Anyway, we would have been bad bad parents, so it's for the best. (Wasn't he cute?)

tripod unfair to the ignorant!

noreply@blogger.com (Fake Plastic Fish) — Wed, 24 Oct 2001 06:09:00 +0000

First of all, I have added a new door which leads to the Screening Room. The first movie review is up: Mulholland Drive, which Michael and I saw last night. He requested that I post my interpretation of it, since I seem so confident that I have all the answers. (I'm probably just as wrong as everyone else, but don't tell him that.) Please feel free to email me reviews and comments about movies you've seen recently, and I will post them and give you full credit.

Second, I got FLASH! I don't know what I did right, but someone up above was happy with me! I received a completely unexpected check for $354 in the mail this week from a Toshiba Class Action settlement. It was a sign. As you may recall, last month I sent out a plea for contributions to my "Get Beth Flash So She Can Make More Cool Videos For Us To Watch Fund." Just when I was thinking all hope was lost, the check arrives, all shiny and new! I knew that if I used it to pay off a credit card, it would just disappear into the Heavens from whence it had come. I bought Flash immediately! Donna is worried that I'll be up all night every night, and she'll never see me again. Don't worry, Donna. Everyone knows I have a short attention span.

Third, I just have to whine about Tripod for a minute. They are one of the only free web hosting services that allows CGI programs, and as such, was hosting my page with the hair color poll, since that poll is a CGI. Well, apparently, I did something which violates their Terms of Service, and they deleted my page. You'll notice the big ugly Tripod Notice on 9-27-2001 which replaces the poll. The problem is, they refuse to tell me what I did wrong. They say they don't have to because the service is free and they can kick anyone off for any reason. They tell me to read the Terms of Service, and that's all they will say.

I think (but I don't know for sure) that they didn't like that Michael and I tried to transfer a huge file from his computer at home to my computer at work by ftp-ing the file to and from the Tripod site. They say their site is not to be used solely for storing files that will be used on other sites. Obviously, that was not my intention. That file was only to exist on their site for a few minutes before I transferred it to my computer and deleted it from theirs. But I never got to do that. They booted me so fast my head almost flew off. So this is just a warning to anyone planning to use Tripod for their website. Don't put any files there that aren't linked directly to a Tripod webpage or you will lose everything you have!

Send an email to Tripod. Tell them you're going to boycott their advertisers, and you don't have to explain why. It's in YOUR Terms of Service.

And fourth and finally, and probably most important, please check out my friend, Vivek's, poem, "Love Crime," at thesala.com, The South Asian Literature & Art Archive, a website that was created in response to the September 11 attacks. His poem was also published in the October 14th San Francisco Chronicle.

still alive...

noreply@blogger.com (Fake Plastic Fish) — Fri, 19 Oct 2001 06:07:00 +0000

Half a month gone. No sleep. Up all night on the couch watching the horror unfold on CNN. War. Rumors of War. Pestilence. (Anthrax -- the disease, not the band.) The George W. Song -- "We will not tire. We will not falter. We will not fail." Or something like that. But he's no Jesse Jackson, is he? No rhythm. Silly white boy. Silly white girl, me, dreaming about white powder in envelopes. Stocking up on water and canned tuna. Radio at work tuned to NPR instead of Top 40. Waiting for the danger. Can you feel it? A breathless expectancy in the air -- almost a wish -- for something to happen here. Something to fight against. Bush says we can fight by "flying and buying." Well, that won't get my credit cards paid off. Guess I'm not a patriot.

By the way, the votes on my hair color are in. It was a close race. Exit polls showed older constituents to be conservative, as expected, voting for no more dye jobs. Fortunately, there are more young people in my district, the majority voting in favor of the new color. There was one write-in vote for red with blonde chunks. The rest of the minority preferred blonde.

Stay tuned for further additions to my little home here in the ether. A karaoke lounge in the works, and many other surprises. Hopefully not all tragedy and fear.

a worthy cause...

noreply@blogger.com (Fake Plastic Fish) — Sat, 29 Sep 2001 05:31:00 +0000

Allow me to introduce you to my gremlin. As you can see, he is the reason for my poor posture and sore shoulders. This picture was taken while my hair was still red, but he is here, weighing me down even now as I write. He whispers things like, "Stay in bed," "Ignore the phone," or "Don't take your drugs."

Lately, he has been trying very hard to get me to spend money I don't have for things I don't need but want very much. Like Macromedia Flash, a program for creating really cool animations, which costs $400. You can help beat this guy with just a small donation to the Create Another Terry Artist Fund. With enough $50 contributions, Beth can continue to be creative without sinking further into debt. Whattya say?

look, ma! i made a poll!

noreply@blogger.com (Fake Plastic Fish) — Fri, 28 Sep 2001 05:35:00 +0000

Not sure if I like this new hair color. Email me your thoughts.

gonads in the lightning...

noreply@blogger.com (Fake Plastic Fish) — Wed, 26 Sep 2001 05:38:00 +0000

Last night I took enough Klonopin and
Vicodin to kill an elephant and still couldn't sleep. A huge electrical storm had caught us walking to the movies. Was scared and came home crying like a chastised child. Got up in the middle of the night and dyed my hair black to match my mood.

Tornado in Beltsville and College Park, Maryland today. Ripped the tops off trees and some University of Maryland dorms. Two people killed. Terry family freaked out. Dad warning about the end of the world and buying us gas masks for Christmas. (Or was that my sister, Ellen?

Video of the Day: Weeeeee. (No, I didn't make it, but I wish I had.) You'll probably have to scroll down a little to see the full video, as the lyrics appear under the white box, and believe me, you'll need them.

Amid all this fear of nuclear, biological,chemical, or any other kind of warfare, here's one among us with a shred of humor still intact:
Michael's Bin Laden Song: